Bullying

 

Interactive Anti-Bullying Tool

The Anti-Bullying Alliance interactive tool for parents and carers has had amazing feedback, with over 85% of parents finding the information they were looking for.

 

My Child is Being Bullied

Young people feel they often have to deal with bullying alone, and your child may worry that telling you will make you angry or upset. It is important that you have the tools you need to keep your child safe, happy and free from bullying.

The Diana Award  - Supporting Your Child If They Are Being Bullied - A Guide for Parents & Carers covers what bullying is; the effects it can have on both child and parent; the role and responsibility of your child's school; finding the right support for your child (whether bullied, bully or bystander); and effectively taking action to stand up against bullying.

 

My Child is Accused of Bullying Others

It is very difficult for parents and carers when they find out that their child has been involved in a bullying incident - perhaps even more so if their child is the one accused of bullying behaviour. 

The important thing to remember is that anyone is capable of bullying behaviour. As parents you have a key role in helping your child to recognise the harm they have caused and encouraging them to change their behaviour in the future.  All parents and carers should speak to their children about what bullying is - and how it makes people.

 

They need to feel they can talk to you if there is bullying happening in their class or school. Sometimes children and young people can be pulled into bullying behaviour by friends or the wider peer group - this is particularly true of hurtful comments and images spread through social networking sites. Some top tips for parents include:

• Make sure your child knows what bullying behaviour is and why it is wrong

• Make sure your child knows they can talk to you, or to another adult if they are worried about bullying

• Help your child to realise that no one has the right to pressure them into something they don't want to do - this includes bullying others

• Make sure they are not bullying others in retaliation for bullying they have suffered - find out if there is a wider culture of bullying in the school or environment where it's happened

• Talk to your child about information that is shared through social networking sites - let them know that they shouldn't upload comments or images that could hurt someone else - or pass on content that is designed to hurt someone else. Let them know most social networking sites have report buttons if they have seen bullying behaviour and they want to stop it.

• Make it clear that you do not tolerate the use of disrespectful and hurtful language and behaviour as a family (it's vital that you model this as parents)

If the school contact you to say your child has been involved in bullying incident stay calm and make sure you gather all the facts relating to the incident. Ask to see evidence if it is available (for example: if the alleged bullying is through the internet or phones).  Ask for a copy of the school anti-bullying and behaviour policy so you can ensure that they are following agreed procedures. Take time to listen to your child's side of the story - but keep an open mind.  If the school share information or evidence that shocks you (children can sometimes behave very differently away from their parents) again stay calm, and take time to talk through the incident with your child.  Try not to see the behaviour as a permanent reflection of their character - but make clear the behaviour you would like to change.  It may be that their current friendship group is having a negative effect on their behaviour - in which case you should talk about what it means to be a friend, and gently encourage them to form more positive relationships.

 

Choose Respect: Anti-Bullying Week 2024

Article by Aoife Nic Colaim on "Headteacher Update" It is entirely possible to disagree with someone while still respecting them and this is a vital lesson to instil in our students. Aoife Nic Colaim looks ahead to Anti-Bullying Week 2024

Anti-Bullying Week 2024 – which takes place from November 11 to 15 – brings a powerful theme to the fore: Choose Respect.

This year, the Anti-Bullying Alliance, in collaboration with young people, aims to empower everyone to respect others, even during disagreements.

From playgrounds to Parliament, homes to our phones, the Choose Respect campaign addresses head-on the bullying that affects millions of young people.

By encouraging children and young people to avoid bullying, even when they disagree, and urging adults to set positive examples both online and offline, we can envision a world where respect and kindness flourish.

Helping young people navigate life’s challenges is not easy and bullying can seem like another minefield that school staff are expected to be experts in, often with minimal training.

Bullying is a multifaceted issue, ranging from simple fall-outs between friends that have spiralled out of control, to more serious prejudice-based bullying.

The Anti-Bullying Alliance seeks to support you in supporting your pupils through these challenges and we have developed numerous resources and CPD training sessions.

One notable initiative is the collaboration between the Anti-Bullying Alliance and Nottingham Trent University to create a new school toolkit and CPD online training course entitled Banter or bullying: Navigating the line of acceptability.

This interactive training course will help schools to adopt a comprehensive anti-bullying approach. It focuses on preventing the misuse of banter, identifying bullying behaviours disguised as banter, and equipping children and young people with the skills to distinguish between acceptable banter and intentional unkind behaviour.

It is a topic Anti-Bullying Alliance director Martha Evans wrote about in Headteacher Update recently, offering eight signs for school staff to look out for when deciding if something is “banter or bullying”.

It is important that we take the opportunity during Anti-Bullying Week 2024 to think about how we can promote a respectful culture for children and young people, and this is particularly important in a school environment.

A message we encourage you to promote within your school is “we may not be best friends with everyone, but we must choose respect” – emphasising that it is entirely possible to disagree with someone while still respecting them.

Below are some helpful tips for teaching children and young people how to engage respectfully and constructively in conversations, especially when there are disagreements:

1. Try to understand and listen: Listen to what the other person is saying without interrupting, even if you don’t agree with them. Letting people speak and trying to understand their viewpoint makes people feel respected.
2. Keep an open mind: Remember that not everyone is the same or thinks the same and we are all entitled to our own opinion.
3. Don’t get personal: Address the issue at hand without making it about the person.
4. Choose respect: Disagreeing with someone is never an excuse for bullying. We don't have to agree with someone to treat them with respect. Use a non-accusatory and respectful language and tone.
5. Know when to agree to disagree: Understand that it is okay to have differing opinions, and that disagreement does not mean we cannot get along.
6. Think positively: Focus on the good in the situation – such as the things you agree on.

By encouraging pupils to practise these strategies, we can create a respectful environment where differing opinions are seen as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than as sources of conflict.

This Anti-Bullying Week let’s all commit to “choose respect”. Encourage your students to embody respect in their daily interactions, and as educators, lead by example. Adults play a crucial role in setting positive examples and modelling respectful behaviour for young people. With the right tools and mindset, we can transform our schools into environments where respect and kindness prevail, and students feel safe, valued, and respected.

Join us in making this vision a reality. What will you choose?

• Aoife Nic Colaim is programme manager at the Anti-Bullying Alliance, the organisers of Anti-Bullying Week.

Further information & resources

• Anti-Bullying Week takes place from Monday, November 11 to Friday, November 15, 2024. To find out about how your school can take part and to access free resources, visit https://anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/

 

Advice and Support

• Anti-Bullying Alliance - Offers information about all aspects of bullying.

• Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP) - Provides help and advice on cyberbullying, the Centre maintains a website called Think U Know for children and young people, and parents and carers about staying safe online.

• Contact - A helpline for families with disabled children. They can give advice on bullying issues: 0808 808 3555.

• Counselling Directory - Lists a network of counsellors, enabling visitors to find a counsellor close to them and appropriate for their needs.

• Family Lives - Gives support and advice for parents on any aspect of parenting and family life, including bullying (previously Parentline Plus): 0808 800 2222.

• Internet Matters - Provides regularly refreshed content to support parents and carers with all aspects of e-safety. Includes lots of advice on technology that can help you to protect your child online and helpful content relating to cyberbullying.

• Kidscape - Provide workshops for children that need support with bullying issues as well as a helpline for parents and carers.

• NSPCC and O2 - Offer a free online safety helpline for parents and carers: 0808 8005002 

• Ofsted Parent View - Website featuring an online questionnaire that allows parents and carers to give their views on their child's school at any time of the year. The questionnaire asks for parents for their opinion on 12 aspects of their child's school, from the quality of teaching, to dealing with bullying and poor behaviour, with a final question as to whether or not they would recommend the school to other parents.

• PACE (Parents Against Child Exploitation) - Provides a parent helpline tto offer advice about online safety.

• Red Balloon Learner Centres - Provide intensive, full-time education for children aged between 9 and 18 who feel unable to return to school because they have been severely bullied. There are Red Balloon Centres all over England, and they also have a programme of online support.

• Report Harmful Content Online - A website that has support about reporting harmful content (provided by the UK Safer Internet Centre and South West Grid for Learning).

• Stop It Now - Confidential helpline about child sexual exploitation.

• The British Red Cross have also produced resources to help you create a safe space for discussions. It also includes a range of activities to help learners develop understanding and awareness.

• Welldoing - An independent, UK-wide directory of therapists and counsellors who are all members of reputable professional organisations. There is a separate search function for children and adolescents in need of therapists and counsellors. It also supplies information and advice in the areas of mental health, wellbeing and development. 

• YoungMinds  - Offers a parent helpline.

• Young People - Emotionally Based School Avoidance provides information for young people who worry about going to school.